365 Days of Sex

10 Ways to Have Better Sex

2010-01-30T06:33:00.006-05:00

It’s a new year, so why not resolve to have better sex? Top sex and relationship experts share their tips — little things you can put into practice tonight! — to help transform your love life.

Improve your intimate experiences with these easy-to-apply tips.

10 Surprising Sex Statistics

2010-01-29T17:06:00.000-05:00

Whether it's penis size, papillomavirus risk, or profligate pregnancies, it's good to know the numbers. Check out these stats to see if you are well within the sexual mean or if you're off the charts.

56 Reasons to Have Sex

2010-01-26T20:48:00.000-05:00

Yep, getting it on is good for more than just the pleasure principle.

Do the nasty. Get down to business. Screw. Shag. Root. Bonk. For every silly nickname we use for sex, there's a totally legit reason why you should be having more of it. To prove our point, we've pulled together a comprehensive list of the mind-boggling benefits of hitting the sheets. From boosting your immune system to releasing aggression, here are the many ways it pays to play dirty.

TMI Tuesday #6

2010-01-26T16:48:00.000-05:00

1. When you masturbate, how long, typically, is your session and what do you think about (other than having an orgasm)?
An hour. I focus on my current lover or focus on pictures of hot, throbbing cocks of past lovers. I mainly focus on how good the stimulation feels.

2. Have you ever been "caught" masturbating?
Thankfully, no.

3. Have you ever masturbated in front of your computer? If 'yes' was it for your own purposes or for someone's viewing pleasure?
Yes. For my own pleasure. I was reading something hot and I was really turned on & didn't want to take the time to go upstairs.

4. Have you ever attended a group masturbation party? Same-sex or mixed?
No. But would be interested in mixed group.

5. When masturbating, as you reach orgasm, do you continue to stimulate yourself without interruption, or do you stop and apply pressure until your spasms subside? Or?
Continue to stimulate so I can come come again. I am lucky and can have multiple orgasms.

6. Have you ever video'ed yourself while masturbating (solo)? Where are they now?
No.

To share TMI -- too much information -- go to TMI Tuesday.

TMI Tuesday #5

2010-01-05T10:02:00.002-05:00

Would you rather...

1. A relaxing vacation or an adventurous trip?

A relaxing vacation.

2. Get a perfect nights sleep or have amazing sex?

Amazing sex.

3. Be intimate with the lights on or off?
I like the lights to be dim; not bright and garish but not totally dark either.

4. Your S/O be a terrible kisser who could always make you orgasm or an amazing kisser who could never make you orgasm?
I don't like this question. I want both. If I HAVE to choose, I would say terrible kisser who could always make me orgasm. I can live with a peck on the lips, but I cannot live without my (almost) daily orgasm. I have to say I LOVE to kiss and think kissing all on its own is very sensual.

5. Date someone much younger or much older than you?
Either. I like someone younger because you can teach them a lot and they are more willing to try new things. I like someone older because they seem to care more and are more accepting of who I am sexually and otherwise.

To participate &/or to read others' answers go to TMI Tuesday.

Join the Sexual Resolution

2010-01-02T09:55:00.001-05:00

Go to the Mominatrix’s Sexual Resolution blog, a daily dose of sex that is updated throughout January.

This month long sexual extravaganza provides tips and challenges.

Each day, Mominatrix recaps the previous day’s challenge, and then provides the task for the day (offering some adaptations for the overachievers and the sexually challenged), helpful hints, and special tips.

If you’re worried that you’ll be required to swing from a trapeze or have sex standing on your head, then you’ve got the wrong idea. While circus skills and flexibility can definitely enhance your sex life, the purpose of this resolution is to focus on you feeling sexier.

Your participation and interaction will be rewarded, through a fabulous grand prize (more details to come) for those who actively participate in the challenges, and weekly prizes that will coordinate with the challenges for everyone all courtesy of Eden Fantasys. Yay for cool prizes just for having sex.

You Play a Part

2009-12-23T22:30:00.002-05:00

Today I was horny and getting hornier as the day went on and I was thinking of you. I couldn't stand it anymore, so I used my toys and thought of your tongue and mouth all over me, licking and sucking. Hmmm . . . good memories. So you do play a part in my sex life and you do help me to cum again and again when I am playing all by myself.

To Heart or Not to Heart

2009-12-07T14:29:00.004-05:00

Since Captain and I started our relationship I have not been with anyone else. I don't use the word love easily. Maybe I shouldn't of told him.

I put my heart out there and in less than two months, the relationship is over.

No wonder I use sex as a way to get close to someone, no wonder I use sex as a tool, no wonder . . .

Sex Tip of the Week #6

2009-11-30T11:41:00.001-05:00

Have you let your flirting skills get rusty? Shame on you! Whatever your excuse is -- you're in a committed relationship, you haven't been feeling confident, or you've just been a bit lazy -- today add some sizzle to your day. Remember that flirting doesn't have to be a commitment. Flirting is just having fun! Let yourself loosen up a bit. Try to make someone smile. Flatter, titter, and blush away -- you'll take a lot of tension out of the day.

Sex Tip of the Week #5

2009-11-23T19:37:00.002-05:00

The next time you’re feeling frisky and you’re out with your lover, slip a pocket rocket or small wireless bullet vibrator into their pocket during the night. Then whisper in their ear and even place their hand on it to let them know what it is. For the rest of the evening you’ll be wondering when they’re going to use it on you and you’ll both have sex on your minds for the rest of your night together.

Top Ten Places

2009-11-19T04:17:00.003-05:00

This list was created in no particular order. These were ten random places where I have had sex (intercourse).

On a park table.
In lake across the road from parents while skinny-dipping.
While driving down the road.
On side of a major highway in 6-feet of snow.
In back of van full of people.
In church basement.
At sleep-over with room full of people.
In office chair in front of window.
In hot-tub.
In the woods.

There are many more places where I want to experience having sex (not necessarily intercourse). My top ten places I want to try:

Outside in the pouring rain... this seems very erotic to me.
On a moving boat.
At the airport.
On a moving train.
At the movie theatre... yes, very cliche and already done as a teen but still want to do this as an adult.
Sitting at the dinner table with a room full of people.
In an elevator.
By the light of the Christmas tree on the living room floor.
???
???

TMI Tuesday #4

2009-11-17T20:04:00.002-05:00

1. What are your thoughts on polyamorous relationships?
If you can make it work, great! Please share your tips. :) I have to admit, I'm very, very selfish . . . I don't want to share my men. However, I am realistic and I know that some of the men are with other women. Some of the men know about the others, some of the men do not.

2. What is on your list of relationship "deal breakers?"
Cheating and lying.

3. How long did it take you you to find the type "you are into" &/or accept it?
I knew at the young age of 13 I was partly bisexual. For the most part, I prefer and lust after men. Occasionally, when I was younger, I would lust after women too. As I get older, I find I prefer men more and more.

4. What is your view on full disclosure about past relationships?
Yes, I want full disclosure but not all in one sitting. I want to know what kind of emotions, ghosts, and baggage I am dealing with.

5. Have you ever been in a situation where you were not comfortable complying
with the adventurous request of a lover?
No. I will try anything once . . . if I don't like it or don't enjoy it, I won't do it again. Come on and let's try something new.

Check out TMI Tuesday and all the great, sensual, fun, intense, amusing answers.

Sex Tip of the Week #4

2009-11-16T19:35:00.001-05:00

Pass your panties to your lover during a night out together to raise the erotic stakes of an evening.

TMI Tuesday #3

2009-11-10T12:44:00.003-05:00

1. Where and when did you lose your virginity?
To my first 'serious' boyfriend at the age of 16.

2. What is your best feature?
My eyes.

3. Do you have a recurring fantasy or a theme to your fantasies?
To be put against the wall, to be outside under the stars, to be surprised.

4. Do you enjoy watching others (a partner or a stranger) masturbate?
Yes, I enjoy seeing a man masturbate, especially if we are both masturbating at the same time.

5. Do you like you partners quiet? Are you quiet?
No, I am in no way quiet. I like to hear a man moan and groan when he cums... it is a big turn on.

6. Do you like having your nipples played with?
Yes, I love it. I love them being pinched and nibbled and bitten and sucked.

7. What is your 'number?'
My number is between 10 and 25 when I am with a man.

Join in the fun and post your answers by going to TMI Tuesday, the host of this meme.

Nympho . . . Yes or No?

2009-11-09T14:58:00.004-05:00

I can flirt with (almost) any man. Does that make me a nympho? No.

I have several men that play different roles in my life. Does that make me a nympho? Maybe.

I have a sex blog. Does that make me a nympho? No.

I had to stop writing this article, get out my brand new toy -- I got today -- and enjoy my toy. I was so excited that I didn't make it to my bedroom. I got to the top of the front steps (out of the view of the window) and shoved the butterfly in. The vibration on the clit was outstanding. I came twice. Does that make me a nympho? Maybe.

I have one male friend and one female friend that I can talk to at any time about sex. Does that make me a nympho? No.

I have a male friend who buys me toys every few months just to make me happy(and expects nothing in return). Exciting for me, fun for him. Does that make me a nympho? No.

I have some type of sexual encounter (finger fuck, penile penetration, toy play)every day. Does that make me a nympho? Maybe.

Combine all of these together... then, yes, I am a nympho!

Sex Tip of the Week #3

2009-11-09T13:58:00.001-05:00

Sit down with your partner and some paper and pens. Take turns writing down sexy stuff, whatever turns you on, and put them in a jar or hat. Pull out two to three three slips of paper each and see if a theme emerges. It can be an incredible turn on to read things out loud like 'oral sex with food.'

To Be . . .

2009-11-04T11:02:00.001-05:00

To Be . . . Committed or Not Committed

I was committed to him, but to him I was a one-night stand.

This makes me sad, very sad.

Roles

2009-11-04T01:27:00.007-05:00

Roles of Cast Members

1. Ally - Levels vary, have not had physical sex, major flirting, may have had phone sex or cyber sex &/or sexting.

2. Friend - Friendship outside of the bedroom, more Friend than Lover, interested in sex as a benefit of a friendship.

3. Buddy - Often visits but not on a regular basis, usually visits in between relationships &/or Companions.

4. Lover - Strictly sex with no relationship.

5. Companion - Regularly visits for sex and is somewhat interested in a "full" relationship.

6. Partner - Committed relationship.

TMI Tuesday #2

2009-11-03T19:08:00.002-05:00

1. You just gave yourself a body-shaking orgasm. How long do you have to wait before you can give yourself another body-shaking orgasm?
At least 10 minutes.

2. You just gave yourself a body-shaking orgasm. What is the longest you can wait until you absolutely have to do it again?
If its an intense body-shaking orgasm, I can wait until the next day.

3. What will you come back as in your next life if you come back as an animate being?
Lioness.

4. What will you come back as in your next life if you come back as an inanimate object?
Vibrator.

Check out the answers of others by going to TMI Tuesday.

Sex Tip of the Week #2

2009-11-02T12:30:00.002-05:00

Oatmeal will increase your testosterone levels in men. This will cause an increase in your sex drive. It will also increase your fertility.

10 Steps to the Perfect Kiss

2009-10-30T20:43:00.005-04:00

My definition of a perfect kiss is a kiss that inspires, delights, and lingers in the memory long after lips and lovers have parted separate ways.

I have my own ideas of what a kiss should be. I think kissing can even be more intimate than sex.

You're looking into their eyes and they're gazing back. You both move in for the kiss . . . awkward pause. Not to worry though. With these 10 steps, every kiss from the first to the last will be picture perfect.

10 Steps to the Perfect Kiss

1. Look into your partner's eyes.

In anticipation of a kiss or to initiate a kiss, start by gazing into your partner,s eyes. Have you heard the phrase that the eyes are the windows to a person's soul? It's true. When you gaze into your partner's eyes, you'll learn their true feelings, emotions, and intentions. In an intimate situation, gazing into your partner's eyes sends an intimate message, letting them know that you want to get closer both physically and emotionally.

2. Smile.

A small, suggestive smiles does wonders. If you want to find out if you're partner is interested, sending a suggestive smile will do the trick. If you get a smile back, you're good to go. If not, or if your partner looks down or away, you probably want to back off.

3. Lean in closer.

Now that you know you're about to kiss, it's time to move in. To avoid awkwardness, move slowly. Moving in too fast can make your partner uncomfortable. As you move in, make sure that you're in a comfortable position.

4. Engage in light touching.

A nice touch (literally!) to the perfect kiss is to lightly touch her face as you move in. A light touch such as this promotes the feeling of intimacy between the two of you.

5. Tilt your head.

Now that you're moving in, it's time to make sure that you're aligned with your partner. You want to tilt your head slightly so that your lips are lined up and there's no chance of a missed kiss. Watch as you tilt to make sure that your partner has already tilted.

6. Relax your lips.

Make sure that your lips are relaxed and not tightly pressed together. The perfect kiss is pleasant with your lips softly pressed together.

7. Moisten your lips.

Lightly moistened lips make for a better kiss. You obviously won't be able to whip out the lip balm when you're "in the moment", so prepare ahead of time. This is true for both men and women. If you're caught off guard, a quick lick of the lips will work for women. Men, you want to keep your lips a bit drier, so don't lick. Both men and women need to tread carefully here. Lips that are moistened too much can make for sloppy, slobbery kisses while lips that are too dry make for unpleasant, rough kisses. Women, you may also want to wear a brighter red lipstick. Experts agree that the red lipstick sends sexual messages to men and is a perfect addition to the perfect kiss.

8. Close your eyes.

Close your eyes as you're about to make contact. Some people feel awkward if their partner's eyes are open. Besides, you'll end up with a much more passionate kissing experience if you close your eyes and let the sensations drive you.

9. Part your lips.

Now that your lips are relaxed, part them slightly as you begin contact. Don't open them too much or your partner may feel that you're 'swallowing' them. Don't keep them too closed either though because your partner may get the impression that you're not as 'in' to this kiss as they are.

10. The kiss.

It's finally time for impact! Gently touch your lips to theirs and you have the perfect kiss. Be sure not to pull away too quickly. You want to take your time and enjoy it! When you do finally pull away, look your partner in the eyes again. A smile, an embrace, or a whisper letting them know that you enjoyed it are a nice way to end a kiss.

Do you have any tips for a perfect kiss? Let us know.

TMI Tuesday

2009-10-27T18:26:00.004-04:00

1) What are three mistakes someone could make on the first date with you that would automatically make you turn down a second date with them?
Have body odor. Have excess hair in the wrong places. Lie.

2) Pick an animal that best displays your personality.
Lioness.

3) If your significant other stopped having sex with you, how long would you stay?
After a few weeks and I realized the sex had stopped, I would be done with the relationship. This is how I feel today. If I was in love with someone, I think, I would have a different attitude.

4) Are you more passive or aggressive when the relationship becomes physical?
I am aggressive usually.

5) Have you ever been inside a store that sold adult themed toys and videos?
Yes, but its been too many years.

Bonus) What percentage of women do you think are capable of handling being in a "friends with benefits" relationship? How about men?
Women - 50%, men - 70%

To participate or see more answers, go to TMI Tuesday.

Cast Members

2009-10-26T22:23:00.002-04:00

Here’s a little background on the cast of ‘characters’ frequently mentioned in this blog. This list is changed and updated as partners, lovers, and friends pass through our lives. The names (in no particular order) have been changed to keep their anonymity.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Cast:

Chocolate Bear - 40, 6'3", African-American, NYPD, Friend
Beau - 39, Caucasian, Truck Driver & Office Supervisor, was high school Boyfriend, past Lover
Bull - 45, Caucasian, Construction Worker, Buddy
Al - Caucasian, Retired, Ally/great phone sex
Otto - Caucasian, Mechanic, Friend
Captain - 49, 5'9", Caucasian, Spiritual Guide, past Lover and Friend

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Recommendations and Reviews

2009-10-26T13:24:00.003-04:00

Periodically, recommendations and reviews about books, websites, toys, etc., will be posted here at 365 Days of Sex. We share our opinions so you get your moneys worth for the product you want to purchase. These are only our points of view.

Sex Tip of the Week

2009-10-26T12:29:00.001-04:00

Honey helps increase blood flow. This means a higher state of arousal and better orgasms.

Were You Thinking of Me?

2009-10-26T12:04:00.002-04:00

You were with a group of your guy friends, shopping and having fun. I caught you looking at me. You looked away when I caught you, but I was bold and kept looking.

This is what you saw: early-40s (look mid-30s) single female shopping with her friend. Long hair pulled up, laughing, and generally engaged in conversation with her friend.

What you don't know: I have been thinking since the moment I saw you what your cock would taste like in my mouth. Would it be thick or thin, long or short, round or oval? Would your pubes be trimmed or full? Do you shave? Do you like your balls sucked? Would you like it if I rimmed you while taking your cock in my hands, rubbing you in long strokes? Would you attempt to learn my name or could we do this anonymously? Would you like it if I stroked you with my tongue, up and down your shaft, increasing pressure as I go? Would you like me to suck just the head, driving you crazy, then long strokes down to the base of your cock with my mouth? How do you taste? How much would you cum? That's what I was thinking about as you walked through WalMart with your friends.

Were you thinking about me?

101 Sexual Things About Storm

2009-10-24T21:50:00.010-04:00

101 Sexual Things About Me (in a very random list):

My eyes, I think, are my most sensual body part.
I had my first kiss at 14.
I'm passionate and intensely affectionate.
I like "french" kisses.
I really love kissing & "making out" and can do it for hours.
I like when a man plays with my hair, brushes my hair, and slightly tugs my hair.
I like when a man nibbles my neck.
I like when a man nibbles and bites my lips.
I like when a man nibbles, bites, and sucks my breasts.
I like when a man leaves a sucker bite on my breast or chest area.
I like when a man leaves a sucker bite on my inner thigh.
I dream about sex.
I daydream about sex. I often play scenes over so much in my mind that something I have never tried before can be exceptional the first time.
I am insatiable.
I'll try anything once. (If I don't like it, I won't do it again.)
I'm horny, at least once, every day.
I have had sexual experiences with other women.
I have had sexual experiences with men. I prefer sex with men!
I like sucking, licking, and nibbling cock (and am apparently good at it).
I can get myself "off" by playing with my toys and using my fingers.
I like to be shaved completely bare or with a fun design.
I like the man to do the shaving.
I like the area around my anus to be touched.
I like anal beads.
I started masturbating when I was 14.
I've been invited to swing (have promiscuous sex with a select group of partners).
I've been invited to be in a lesbian relationship.
I love the feel of a cock inside me.
I can have multiple orgasms. I lost count at 30.
I like taking photos of a man's cock.
To drive me really wild, all a man has to do is suck my clitoris or apply pressure to my clitoris.
I used to have $1000s worth of toys (but an inadequate, jealous man threw my toys away).
I have a few toys. I would love to have more toys.
I can have breast orgasms.
I can have "g-spot" orgasms.
I can have intercourse orgasms.
I've had sex on the kitchen table.
I've had sex in the snow beside a busy highway.
I've had sex while driving down the road.
I like shower sex.
I don't have to worry about my period interrupting my sexcapades since I had a hysterectomy.
I am a loud lover.
I love hearing a man groan and moan... a big turn-on.
Wearing sexy underwear makes me feel sexy.
I like watching a man get himself "off."
I like getting myself "off," especially if the man is watching.
I want to try new and exciting things but need to find someone I trust who wants to play.
I have a king-size bed... more room to play.
I want to try a threesome with two males and myself.
I want to try a foursome with two males, 1 female, and myself.
I count oral, anal, vaginal, fingering, heavy petting as sex.
My breasts are a size 44D/DD.
I like using ice.
I like the look of surprise on a man's face when I "go down on him."
I like using Hall's cough drops.
I like nipple clamps.
I did have a fuck buddy.
I have had steamy sex with an ex.
I have used a webcam to get "down and dirty" with a faraway friend.
I have had phone sex as recently as two weeks ago.
I like how sex makes me feel... alive, sexy, uninhibited, yet vulnerable.
I like a bare backed cock. (I don't like the feel of a condom; it loses a lot of sensation and spontaneity for me.)
I have used popsicles.
I have used whip cream.
I have used chocolate syrup.
I like to hear a little dirty talk (but nothing obnoxious or offensive).
I like the room to have a romantic aura, i.e. candles, dim lights, music, to help get in the mood.
I can lick my own nipples.
I like to be equal in my sexual relationships.
I truly enjoy "69."
I believe I am at my sexual prime now.
I am greedy in my acts of lust. I like how the lust consumes me.
I love flirting.
I like being able to watch a man's cock enter my vagina.
I like the position of being on top. It makes me feel in control and that feeling is a heady aphrodisiac.
I like having sex outdoors or in public places. The chance of getting caught adds another intense layer to the sex.
I like the position of "stand at erection."
I've been finger fucked, up to 4 fingers.
I've had an orgasm just from finger fucking.
I've had an orgasm just from a prolonged kissing and "making out" session.
I like the position of "spooning."
I like the position of "stoop doggy dog."
The combination of clitoral and vaginal stimulation doubles my pleasure.
The combination of clitoral and anal stimulation doubles my pleasure.
My body reacts to slight pain, like biting and hair pulling, in the same manner it reacts to a skilled mouth or tongue... with instant arousal.
I like back massages.
I liked to be kissed and licked all over my body.
I have had sex with a married man.
I've had sex with a much younger man.
I've had sex with a much older man.
I have briefly video-recorded myself getting "off."
I have sent that video to several men.
The more a man compliments me, the more easily I can get "turned on."
I have watched videos of "regular" people having sex.
I have used Tiger Balm on my nipples.
I've had sex in the back of a van while full of people.
I've had sex with Caucasian men.
I've had sex with African-American men.
Teasing is a big "turn on" (if the man follows through).
I have used a vibrator on a man.
While writing this list, I had to take a break and make myself cum because reading this list "turned me on."

I reserve the right to change this list at any time in the future.

Sexual Relationships Defined

2009-10-24T18:20:00.004-04:00

Asexual - A person who is not interested in or does not desire sexual activity, either within or outside of a relationship.

BDSM - An overlapping abbreviation of Bondage and Discipline (BD), Dominance and Submission (DS), and Sadism and Masochism (SM).

Bicurious - A person who, although untried as of yet, finds themselves curiously attracted to members of the same sex for the purpose of sexual pleasure and experimentation.

Bisexual - A person capable of having physical, romantic, and sexual attraction attractions towards both sexes.

Celibacy - To go without sex, either willingly or not. Reasons include personal, religious, social, or bad luck.

Gay - A man whose emotional, romantic, and sexual energies are geared towards other men.

Heterosexual - A person who is attracted to the opposite sex.

Hobosexual - One who cares little for one's own appearance.

Homosexual - A person whose sexual preference is members of the same sex. Male homosexuals are usually referred to as gays, and females as lesbians.

Kinky - Engaging or enjoying nonstandard sexual or sensual stimulation.

Lesbian - A woman whose emotional, romantic, and sexual energies are geared towards other women.

Metrosexual - A straight man who embraces the homosexual lifestyle, i.e. refined tastes in clothing, excessive use of designer hygiene products, etc. Usually is on the brink of homosexuality.

Monogamy - The custom of having only one mate in an intimate relationship, of being dedicated to a single partner.

Omnisexual - Generally interchangeable with pansexual. One whose romantic, emotional, or sexual attractions are geared towards others regardless of sex and/or gender expression.

Orgy - Sex party involving many partners.

Pansexual - 1.) A person fluid in sexual orientation, gender, and/or sexual identity. 2.) Loving a person for who they are and not what they are. 3.) A person attracted to all genders. This means the pansexual person is attracted to, or can be attracted to, males, females, intersexes, pangenders, androgynes, agenders, genderqueers, bigenders and many more.

Polyamorous - The state of having multiple sexually or romantically committed relationships at the same time, with the consent of all partners involved.

Polygamy - 1.) To have more than one wife. 2.) To be honest with your partner about your philandering or desire to have sex with other women. 3.) To have a harem. 4.) The opposite of monogamy.

S&M - Sadism and Masochism - The practice of using pain as a sexual stimulant, i.e. breast torture, spanking, whipping, asphyxiation, hot wax, etc.

Sexual - Pertaining to sex.

Straight - Heterosexual.

Transsexual - A term for a man who wishes to be a woman or is in the transition to becoming a true woman.

Transvestite - A man or woman who wears clothing from the opposite sex.

This list is provided for informational purposes only. This does not mean we promote any of these types of behavior.

All About Lube

2009-10-21T20:08:00.003-04:00

Lube. Maybe you love it, maybe you don’t, but I’m willing to bet a fair amount of money that you never learned about it in your middle/high school sex education classes. Maybe you still have no idea about it. Many people don’t.

I am a huge proponent of lube. Perhaps you are asking why I’m such a lube lover. Let me give you the lowdown on why lube is so great.

First of all, lube can make things easier. You know when a ring is stuck on someone’s finger and they put Vaseline or butter on it to help slide it off? Lube helps to pave the way. Let’s say you’re trying to stick something (penis, dildo, cock, fingers, etc) into something (usually a vagina/cunt/anus). Why wouldn't you want to make it a smoother entry? To slide right in instead of having to force something in is one of the great things about lube.

Natural lube can dry up fairly quickly, plus there are so many reasons someone might not be lubricating much (or at all); antihistamines, hormonal birth control, a plethora of other medications and medical conditions, stress, etc. Plus, some people just don’t have a lot of natural lube, and that’s perfectly okay. Easiest solution to this is to grab some lube and add it to your sex life.

Talking about adding lube — anuses, although pretty spiffy, are not able to lubricate on their own. At all. Period. Ergo, if you are putting things in a butt (your own or someone else's), please use lube. Even if it’s just spit, use something. If you’re trying for some hot anal sex, and haven’t ever done it before, use lube. It’s really hard to slide something big into something small if you’ve got a ton of friction going on.

Let’s speak to condoms for a moment. Poor condoms get such a bad rap. However, one little trick to making them feel better for all parties involved is lube! Put a small drop…and when I say small, I mean small, inside the condom before the wearer puts it on. Then, put a little more lube either on the outside of the condom or wherever the condom is going to be going. Voila! Less friction equals more sensation, and you’re still having safer sex.

How much is the right amount? Start out with a little, as you can add a little more and a little more until it feels just right. Too much and soon you’ve turned sex into a slip n’ slide; not enough and it totally defeats the purpose of using lube.

What happens when you’ve been going at it for a while, and your lube starts to dry up a bit? Instead of adding more and more and more and turning it into a sticky, goopy mess, most lubes reactivate with a little bit of water. This can be spit, sprinkling some water from a drinking glass, or my personal favorite; using a squirt gun. Get creative.

There are, for all intents and purposes, three types of lube: water based, silicone based, and oil based.

Oil based lubes are great lubes. They stick around a long time, are very slick, and they’re designed for wanking. However, they are NOT okay to put inside cunts. Granted, people have been using Crisco for years, but if you want to be sure of being body-friendly, don’t put oil based lube inside you. Additionally, oil of any kind dissolves latex meaning oil based lubes and any latex condoms are mortal enemies.

A good amount of the lubes available, especially at your local drug store and many sex toy providers, are water based. This means the main ingredient is water, and that it will wash off easily. It doesn’t have the staying power of oil based or silicone based, but it is definitely vagina/cunt/anus friendly, is easy to get off when you’re done, and reactivates with a little water. Additionally, it is latex friendly and will not harm silicone toys.

Silicone lubes are available primarily online. It does not wash away very easily, making it good for sex in the shower/pool, or if you’re planning on going at it for a while. The number one thing to know about silicone lube is that you cannot use it with silicone toys. It may melt them. Silicone lube is latex friendly, and it is generally considered friendly for vaginas/cunts/anuses.

Some of the water based lubes contain glycerin, and quite a few people have negative reactions to it, including getting yeast infections — since glycerin is made from glucose (sugar). If you’re having problems with your lube, or you know that you’re prone to yeast infections, make sure your lube is glycerin (and paraben) free.

Lube is a good thing. There are so many choices out there, and so many great reasons to use it, from exploring new territory to increasing sensation, and much more. With all the positives and the lack of negatives, why not give lube a good college try?

Article adapted from The Lowdown on Lube originally written by Essin’ Em.

Touch Defined

2009-10-20T21:54:00.003-04:00

This blog is not subtle -- as the title implies -- and there are many definitions of sex (look for a future post about the definition of sex). But sex is more than just intercourse.

Here is our definition of touch:
caress, touch lovingly, bear hug, buss, clinch, clutch, coddle, cosset, cuddle, dandle, embrace, feel, fondle, graze, handle, hug, kiss, make love, massage, mug, neck, nestle, nuzzle, pat, pet, play around, rub, squeeze, stroke, toy, embrace, feel, snuggle, squeeze, stroke, contact, flick, glance, graze, skim, smooth, sweep, tickle, indulge, pamper, cater to, cosset, make much of, mollycoddle, spoil, fondling, lovemaking, make out.

I Am Storm

2009-10-20T21:05:00.001-04:00

I am: a single mother, a former foster mother, a child shepherd, a college graduate, a Master's of Education candidate, a feminist, a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a niece, a believer in the Lord Jesus Christ, a voter, a dreamer, a heterosexual, a lover and owner of Chihuahuas, a lover and previous owner of Cocker Spaniels, eclectic, sassy, unique, allergic to milk, caffeine glutton, an Internet addict, a Christian, a friend, a cohort, a shoulder to cry on, a listening ear, a counselor, a teacher, a kid at heart, an adult, a woman, a sexual assault survivor, someone working to prevent sexual assault, a chocoholic, a bookworm, a scrapbook artist, a photographer, German, Welsh, a proud American, 5'1", a blog junkie, a Christmas fanatic, an advocate for children, supporter of education, a crime show watcher, a hopeful writer . . . I am ME.